Emmerson's Heart Page 16

  Will and Rob had come into the kitchen, both wearing flannels and jeans. Good lord, could those two look any more disgusting than that? It was just Emmy coming home. And Marc, hell he was wearing a crisp white shirt and black jeans just like my dad had worn on special occasions. News flash, Brother. You aren’t him.

  As much as I had wanted to run, I couldn’t. I wanted to see her. I wanted to see that pain in her eyes that I had caused her on Thanksgiving. I deserved it. I deserved to have her hate me. Plastered around the kitchen were pictures of her and Ben, her and the brothers, and her and me. It just made my gut knot more.

  When the truck doors had slammed shut, my mom hurried to the door just as a loud scream came out. Ben. Damn horse. He was tame for so long and when she left for school, his temperament had come back into him giving me problems all the time. After the accident, I couldn’t even control him and he’s been wild ever since. Now that she was home, he was happy. So happy that he had Mr. Andrews pinned against the truck with Emmy in his arms. A laugh had danced through the crisp air as she reached out to pet him.

  “Whatever you are thinking, he’s not coming in the house,” Mom blurted out as she shook her head. “You need to get inside.”

  “He’s just happy, Mama.” The grin spread over her face. I could hear it in her voice. “Mr. Andrews, could I ride him?”

  “I don’t think so, child. Not yet.” Laughing, he got away from Ben and headed for the house. Mom had opened the door for him and locked it after she had entered before Ben could get in. Just like the fool that horse was, he was already on the porch trying.

  Her eyes shot around the room as the tears filled in her eyes. But as she looked at everyone, that smile was slowly disappearing. By the time that she had looked at me, it was gone and I could see who she was looking for. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me at all. God, how I wanted to just grab hold of her and hold her tight in my arms. Had she not remembered that there was one that would never be there again?

  “Here. I have you a spot on the couch all ready for you.” Becky pranced, showing Mr. Andrews the way into the living room as if he hadn’t known where the couch was. When he put her down, he covered her with the blanket and kissed her forehead like my dad had always done. The tears trickled down her cheeks as she held onto his arm. My heart nearly shattered on the kitchen floor. She knew that he wasn’t going to be there, but she was wishing that it was him and not George. “Well, I will get the cake and the ice cream out.”

  “I’m actually kind of tired.” Emmy’s frail voice sent knives shooting straight through me. Of course she would be tired. I told Becky to give her some time to adjust after the trip home, but no, she didn’t listen. She had to make a big doings of it. “I like it all, though. Thank you.”

  “It was my pleasure. I’m glad that you are home.” She smiled and reached for Emmy’s hand, but Emmy had tensed up and moved her hand away. Her left hand. The one that I had held in the hospital, unknowing to her, and probably the one that my dad held when they were driving. Her right arm had been broken and I imagine that was from him trying to shield her the most with the rolling. He had been trying to tuck her down to protect her and in the meantime, the force had snapped her arm and her shoulder had shattered. I had seen the gouges that his fingers had left in her skin when the nurse had changed her bandage. It was his hand that had been there. I would know his hand anywhere. “Would you like anything, Emmy?”

  Her eyes wondered as she looked over at me. “No.”

  “Are you sure? I made some treats and…”

  “I’m fine. I would just like to rest a little.” Taking her eyes away from me, they had instantly filled with tears as she looked at Mr. Andrews. “Would you sit with me for a little bit?”

  Why in the hell was she asking him to sit with her? Him? I knew that he had been to the hospital a lot. I had seen all the flowers, the teddy bears, and that damn stuffed horse that had taken up half of her bed. Sorry, buddy, but this is my family. Mine. Not yours. He had his own miserable family to tend to. He brought that misery on himself.

  Cursing, I went to the fridge and grabbed another beer from the bottom shelf. I needed one. I shouldn’t be angry at him, not the man that had risked taking us to the city with his team like he had. I was grateful that he was there, but all he was doing was trying to mooch his way into my family. He was pushing me out of her way even more. Then again, what had I expected? Her to want to come straight to me? Want me to tell her that I love her and that I wanted to be with her more than a so called brother?

  “You look freaking hot as hell!” Marc reached down and kissed her scarred cheek. No, she was nothing like before with that tender and angelic face. Now, the right side was scarred and the corner of her eye had a long line where the stitches were to put her face back together, but damn it, if she didn’t look even better. And the doctor had said that they weren’t that deep, but the one by her eye would leave the biggest one and they could have a plastic surgeon fix it when she was able to withhold another surgery. “You know that the guys will be chasing you down now. I am just going to have to move back to guard your honor.”

  Snorting out a snide remark, I cracked the bottle open and took a long drink. I could feel her eyes on me, surprised and hurt. “If you think for one minute that there will be guys sniffing around here, you better just think again.”

  “Paul!” My mom gasped loudly as Becky gritted her teeth. “She looks absolutely wonderful.”

  “Yeah, well, they won’t be here.” Chugging the beer, I tossed the bottle into the garbage, letting it clank with the others I had already.

  “Paul, she looks beautiful and I have a gift that will help…” Becky turned to the fireplace to pick up the blue bag that she had spent too much on at the mall when we had gone to the city for a nice evening that turned out to be worthless.

  “Cut the shit, Becky. She ain’t covering those scars.” Glaring over at Emmy, I took in all that beauty that was there, that she had. The scars had only added to her. Only made me want her more. Made the sight of Becky turn my stomach.

  “You are being nasty and I don’t appreciate it.” Mom had stepped in front of me, keeping her voice low. “She looks fine and you don’t have to be so mean to her. She’s been through…”

  “If you think for one second that I would stand back and let guys near her, you better think again. She don’t need no “cover up”, Mom.” Gritting my teeth, I looked over at those hurt packed aqua eyes as the tears had rained down her face. “She don’t need nothing and ain’t no guys coming around here. She will look like that all the time.”

  “Go, get out. I don’t want you here.” She shoved me a little, something that my mother never had done. Obliging, I unlocked the door and went out, nudging Ben back. Taking his halter, I led him down the steps on his terms. “You need to go get some food. You saw her. She’s back.”

  “What in the hell do you think that you are doing? She’s hurting enough as it is. Do you really have to be that cruel to her?” The tears glistened in my mom’s face as she folded her arms across her chest. “Paul, do you hate her that much?”

  “If that’s what you want to think, go right on ahead. Tell Beck that I will be in the barn when she’s ready to stop making a fool of herself.” Leading the horse away, I headed straight to the barn. There would be no way that I would stand there and look at Emmy all covered up in gunk like that when she was perfect as she was. There would never be a woman that could ever come close to matching the beauty that Emmy had. No one. Not even Becky.

  Taking Ben to the barn, I let him walk around while I had taken some time touching up a few things. Tossing down a few bales of straw, I plopped down and rested my head back. She was home. She was home now and I shouldn’t need to worry any more about her. Now, I could easily go to the house to check on her after having a panic attack thinking that something had happened. Closing my eyes, I felt that pain there, that sinking feeling that she had been looking for my dad when she had gotten to the house.
That was why she had asked Mr. Andrews to sit with her. Hell, she hadn’t been able to be there when we had buried him, but she couldn’t. I had taken a rose from his casket for her and put it in her room.

  And that whole hand thing. How could no one else see it? How could no one else know that was why she hadn’t let anyone else touch her hand? It was the hand that she had last held of my dad’s. She didn’t want anyone else to hold that hand. It was his. God, she missed him so much. Sometimes, at night, she had called out for him when I was there in the hospital with her. It wasn’t Jackson, neither, that had come from her bruised lips. It was Daddy. How could God ever be that cruel to her to take away the one dad that she had ever known to be one to her? Why did he have to take my dad from her? We could all survive, but not Emmy. She would never be able to survive this.

  It was pitch black and freezing in the barn when I had managed to open my eyes. In my hand was my phone with the picture of Emmy that I had taken lying beside her in the bed when she was asleep a few days ago. I had my arm around her and I had her curled up, fitting perfectly to me. Those scars were right there, making her shine more than ever. God, I loved her. I did. Noticing the text, I swallowed hard when I had opened it.

  Becky: I just went home. You need to be with your family tonight. I will be over tomorrow to see if you need anything. Please, don’t be too mad at her. Be lucky that she is still alive.

  Deleting the message, I ran a hand over my face. I could hear the soft breathing of Ben and I got up to pet him. “Well, boy. At least we have her still, huh?” Reaching out, I felt the nylon halter and turned his long dark gray face toward me. “You felt it that night, too, didn’t you, boy? You knew before any of us.”

  He let out a breath of air as he nudged me with that pink velvet nose.

  “I will need you more than ever now. She will need you more than ever. She’s going to remember someday and you need to be there for her. You will have to help her through this.” Pressing my forehead to his, I sighed a little. I hoped like hell that she wouldn’t remember the accident. I didn’t want her to. I didn’t want her to have to relive it.

  Giving him one last pat, I went back up to the house. I could feel Ben following, but I didn’t stop him. I let him follow, knowing right where he would be staying for the evening. Right outside her window. The house was silent and the kitchen had been cleaned up, though her photos were still around. Taking down the one of her and me, I slipped it into my pocket while making my way through the others. There had been a spot open between two more of her and the family. The one of her and my dad. She was over his shoulder and he had spun her around in the air as if she was a little girl.

  I remember when I had seen him do that. It was shortly after Ben had been in the house and he was still “mad”. Now I understood more of that anger that had come from him. He had to be mad for mom’s sake, but hell, he had laughed about it. He laughed. If it had been one of us guys that had a horse in the house, things wouldn’t have turned out like that. But with us, he knew that we hadn’t come from a life like she had.

  Going to her room, I stood in the doorway and listening to her soft breathing and her body tucked back into the bed that she had once spent almost every night in. Tomorrow, the visitors would be coming in to see her, knowing that she would be home. And tonight, with the brothers gathered around her, she had been just exhausted and I was sure that it had taken a lot to get her to go to sleep.

  Pulling my boots off, I stepped over to the bed and slid in next to her. Taking her left hand into mine, I placed it on my chest while stroking each of her long, slender fingers. Her hair was down to her shoulders and she had hated it. I knew that for a fact, but I had to admit that the haircut that they had stopped for actually looked better on her. Soon enough, she would be able to pull it up in a ponytail like she had all the time.

  “Where are you?” The whispers had come from her as she flattened her hand against my chest to feel my heart beating. “Jackson, please, come home.”

  My heart was breaking and I hoped that she hadn’t felt that. Losing my dad was bad enough, but if we had lost her, too, I don’t know what I would have done. There would have been no way that I could have handled that.

  Holding her close to me, I let my tears run free. God, if she had remembered that he had come to bring her home for Christmas, she would take it as being all her fault.

  It wasn’t her fault. It was mine. It was all mine and it had started with the Thanksgiving fight. I had pushed her away. I pushed her too hard away from me and she was staying away because of me. What could I do? He had been on my case since her damn graduation about minding my distance from my “sister”. He didn’t approve of the way that I had looked at her, his own son. Hell, that man hadn’t approved of any guy that had looked at her. When he had found out that she had gone on a date while they were on their anniversary cruise that we had gifted them, he went crazy. And nothing happened. I made sure of that, though.

  Something brushed my hand as she shifted a little to get more comfortable in my embrace. Fishing it out, my heart felt the glossy paper, the picture of her and my dad. She knew that he was gone. She remembered.

  Chapter 16

  ****Past****

  How could we have not noticed that she was a year older than what she was? Hell, my little follower was seventeen and just turning into something so beautiful inside and out. Her hair was down and she was stretched out on the porch with that damn dog-horse of hers right there as always. If that horse wasn’t close to her, it was panic-ville on the damn ranch. He would search and search until he found her and….well, she never had to search for him because he was always right there by her.

  Shaking my head, I just sat back and watched her. Her knees swaying back and forth, her long golden hair hanging over the floor of the porch and her hand was stretched out where Ben could easily have access to her fingers if needed. In all my life, I had never seen a person and a horse so connected, but as she puts it so clearly, they were one in the same.

  The mounds of her chest were in that damn black tank top that she had insisted on wearing. With it being close to a hundred, I didn’t blame her, but for some reason, it was really getting to me now. It seemed like not that long ago, she had started to lose her little-girl figure and overnight came this body that….

  Turning my look away, I kicked my feet up onto the railing as I looked over the peaceful yard. I could take her camping again, but deep down, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to for the simple fact that it was beginning to bother me with the way that I had looked at her lately. The way that I had looked at her was the same way that I had looked at plenty of other women, one in particular that I had wanted for a long time. It wasn’t right. Not by any means, should I ever look at Emmy like anything except my baby sister. After all, that was what she was to me and that was all that I would ever see her as.

  “Do you think that Rob will decide to move back home?” Her voice was so soft, dancing in the sticky heat as she cooed under her breath and earning a little response from Ben. His ears had perked as he stepped closer to the porch, brushing his nose against her belly.

  “I don’t know, kid. Probably.” Closing my eyes, I tucked my hands behind my head. The damn heat was bad, the worst. Then again, it wasn’t just the heat in the air. That damn woman was there lying on her back, enhancing that chest of hers, and my mind was lingering with thoughts. What it would be like to feel her molded up against my body….

  Cursing, I shot forward, focusing my eyes on the truck parked in the driveway; her truck. She just had to have one and Mom wanted her to get this cute little blue car. Nope, Emmer wasn’t having it. Not at all.

  Mom and Emmy were pretty close, but not as close as that girl was with my dad. Hell, you wouldn’t even know that we were actually his sons when it had come to Emmerson. That should have bothered me, but the four of us really didn’t need that connection like she needed. Sometimes, I wondered if Mom had gotten a little sick or worried about the bond too
. Emmy wasn’t their daughter, but in their hearts, I knew that birthrights didn’t mean a damn thing to those two. But after seeing my dad beat a man almost to death over Emmy, I could see how much he had loved her. That was something of which no one could ever convince me differently.

  “Marc called last night and I talked to him for about an hour. He said that he would like to come home for a vacation this year. I told him that maybe we could take him camping like we usually do. He said that he would really like that.”

  “We’ll see, Tyke.” Camping? Stuck with her alone out there with nothing? No, I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t handle that until I had gotten my damn head straight. Emmy was my damn sister, the little girl that I had saved. That was all that she could ever be to me. Besides, Becky had agreed to go on a date with me and I had to take that opportunity. I had been after her for this long now.

  “Over my dead body!” My dad’s voice ripped through the thick air, filling every window of the house.

  Emmy rolled over onto her hands and knees, stretching and letting that tight round ass of hers stick up in the air. Damn, why did she have to be like that? Did she not know what effect she had on a guy by doing that? The heat intensified inside of me as I fought to take my look away and get my thoughts on something else. This can’t be happening. This can’t be what I think about her. But damn!

  “Where do you think that you get off doing that behind my back?” Rage of the one and only man in town that everyone backed down from came bellowing through the air.

  “You are being unreasonable!” And there it was; Mom’s voice raised to a new level. Hell, I couldn’t ever remember hearing her raise her voice to my dad. Never. No one raised their voice to him. No one would be in their right mind to ever do such a thing. Well, one person, but she had that nice firm ass up in the air while sticking her head through the rungs of the porch railing and pressing her forehead to Ben the dog in the horse’s body.