Emmerson's Heart Page 28

  “Emmy, Honey, please. It’s going to be okay.” She paused, sniffling a little. “Emmy, I want you home. I need my little girl to be here.”

  “Mama….” My chest was ripping apart as I felt Marc steer down the hill and onto the flat highway.

  “Oh, Emmy. Honey, Ben’s waiting at the driveway for you. I think that he wants to see you too. I even have some apples for you to give to him.”

  “Mama, I can’t….” Gasping, I leaned forward and Marc’s hand began rubbing my back.

  “Yes, you can, baby. You can. It will be okay. We love you so much and we want you back home. It’s time that you come back to us.”

  “I just….”

  “Breathe, Honey. Just breathe. I don’t care that you are seeing Marc. It’s fine, Honey. We will sit down and talk about that later. Right now, I just want you to come home and get through this with us. We need you and you need us.”

  “I am so sorry, Mama. I am so sorry.” Crying as hard as I could, the pain shot through my back as the pressure was taking me down. It hurt so bad inside and out.

  “There is absolutely no need to be sorry, Emmerson. No need what so ever. You are a part of this family. This whole family. We will talk about this whole Marc thing later. Right now is just about family and we need you here.”

  “Okay, Mama. Okay.” Listening to her, I just kept my head down and cired. I wanted to just run to her and have her hold me again. I wanted to be with her, close to her again. No matter how much it hurt, I wanted her.

  It wasn’t an hour later that Marc had pulled into the drive and ended the call. Taking the phone, he slipped it into his pocket and got out. Coming straight to the passenger door, he had to shove Ben out of the way to open it. Ben shoved him back out of the way not even giving me the chance to get out. I just couldn’t bear to look at him. I couldn’t bear to see the pain that I had put into his long dark silver face. When he wasn’t giving up, I buried my face into his warm fur and just held onto him.

  “Alright, Ben. I need to get her inside, boy.” Marc smiled as he gave the horse a pat and nudged him to the side. Lifting me out of the car, he carried me straight into the house.

  “Put her down on the couch and get her covered up. She’s shaking.” Connie blocked the doorway as Ben tried to make his way in, but she wasn’t letting him.

  Rob came running down the steps with Will following close behind. Coming straight to Marc, the boys had dropped onto the couch where Marc had put me. Standing up, he chuckled as he shrugged a little. “Guess I am even being shut out by my brothers now.”

  “Dude, you have her constantly. It’s our turn.” Rob slapped his arm playfully as Will tugged the blanket over me. “So, Emmer, tell me how city life is.”

  “Don’t be getting her wound up. She had a very long trip. Let her relax.” Connie carried a cup of apple cider into the living room and handed it to me. Her eyes softened as she forced a smile, seeing the tears building back up in my eyes. “Mr. Andrews will be over later. He heard that you were coming home and he wanted to stop by.”

  “Okay.” Mr. Andrews was a blessing to me. Hell, there were times when he would just sit with me and help me through the pain of losing Jackson. A few times, he had shared some stories about his friend that I don’t think that Connie had even known, but he had given them to me. “Mama, is he coming soon?”

  “He’s pushing to get his chores done, but he will be here tonight. Just rest a little and if you’re sleeping when he comes in, I will wake you.” Reaching over, she tucked the blanket around my legs as the tear trickled down her cheek. “You boys let her rest and Marc, you can put your things in her room.”

  “Yes, Mama.” Marc smiled as he winked at me. “Do you want anything before I go?”

  “I’m okay.”

  “God, she is with us right now!” Will rolled his eyes as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “You are such a pansy.”

  “When it comes to her, yes, I am.” Laughing, he walked out and left me with my brothers. Looking over at Rob, I watched his smile slowly fade as he held my hand in his.

  “So, you and Marc, huh?” His voice was low but tight, and I had wondered what that was all about. Was mad that I hadn’t dated Greg, his friend, or what? I hadn’t seen that side of Rob before.

  “Boys, mind your business,” Connie called from the kitchen. “In fact, go help your brother with the bags and give Emmer a break.”

  “Yes Mom.” Groaning, they had gotten up carefully and covered me back up before retreating out the kitchen door.

  “Mama, do they hate me?” Looking up, I watched her round the couch and come into the living room with a slice of apple pie. Placing it on the table, she sat down next to it and placed her hands on her knees. “They do, don’t they?”

  “Emmy, I am happy that you are finally laughing and smiling again. Lord knows I have prayed and prayed for you to be again. It makes me feel good when you do. You have been through so much in your life, Honey.” Taking my hand into hers, she swallowed hard as she looked me over. “Honey, I want you to really think about it. I know that you and Marc have gotten close with your friendship after last Thanksgiving, but I want you to really look into your heart and see if this is what you want.”

  “Mama, he’s so good to me.”

  “Yes, he is and he will always be so good to you because he loves you.” Her hands tightened around mine, telling me that there was a but coming. One that was a really big but. One that involved someone that my heart still deeply yearned for. “You had something so special with Paul. I know that you two had your outs, but Emmy, I want you to really think about this. I think that there’s more to Paul than you know. I know that you really love Marc, but Honey, your heart has always been Paul’s through everything. And I think that it still is.”

  “He hurt me, Mama. He really hurt me. And Marc, he’s been so great and so wonderful….”

  “But, Honey. I don’t want you to live with the constant Paul in your mind. I want you to come to terms with Paul over the whole fight and find out, in your heart, which one has it. As long as it’s with one of my boys, I don’t care.” The smile tugged at her beautiful face as she brushed the tear from my cheek. “If you really truly want to be with Marc, let Paul go. Come to terms with him and let him go. You won’t ever be able to move on unless you do. If your heart really belongs to Paul, then Marc will understand.”

  “Mama, I love him so much. I don’t want to hurt him.” Hell, if she had known who I was actually talking about, I would like to know. My heart wanted to love them both. Marc had been my friend through the pain and the suffering of the biggest loss in my life and Paul had been my heart since the night he saved my life.

  “Then, you need to come to terms with it. Both of them love you, too; more than you know, Honey. A lot more than you know.” Passing over the plate, she changed it out with my mug and smiled. “You are simply amazing, Emmy. I know that whichever one that you are with, you will be happy and have that deep love that I had with Jackson. Just let your heart tell you. Listen to your heart, Honey.”

  It was Marc; it had to be Marc. She was right. I needed to let this black cloud of Paul clear away so that I could allow myself to be Marc’s fully. But how? I had ruined Paul’s life. He told me that loud and clear. How could I give him back his life?

  Chapter 29

  ****Past****

  Paul

  Her golden hair lifted in the breeze as she huddled around the fire with her friends, Rob’s friends that had made a special trip just for her graduation, and family friends. Mom had finally given in, letting Emmy have her bonfire party without someone fussing over her constantly. Dad was more hesitant to leave her alone with all the guys that were there, but Emmy was a beautiful young woman that they liked, that they hung out with. Who didn’t adore that woman? Even a few of the Andrews boys had shown up, which had set my dad’s temper off right at the start, but Emmy had backed him into the corner once again. She had put them right in their place when they had t
ried starting stuff with Will. The past was the past with them and they had respected her more than anyone now. Hell, not even one of those boys had ever said anything toward Will or Rob in anger since Emmy knocked the crap out of the one. Leave it to my best friend to really take charge. Maybe that was why my dad liked her so much. That girl had a gift. A special gift with them.

  And there she was in her fitted blue jeans, her knee-high black boots, and her black tee shirt, shivering. But the smile and the laugh in her was more than mesmerizing. Getting the parents away, namely my dad, had been what she needed. Especially my dad. That man wouldn’t let her do a damn thing. When Greg had come up to give her a card, my dad’s anger was pouring through the party and he was right there. Right over her shoulder making sure that Greg had stayed fifteen feet away from her. Not one of the other guys had been that lucky.

  Sitting back and watching, I had felt bad for Emmer. That poor girl. She was nineteen years old and he acted if she were still fourteen. Crissakes, she wasn’t even allowed to go to the fire because there were guys down there, three that were brothers. When she had gone down by Rob and Marc, Dad went storming after her like a mad man; hauling her back up to the house where the adults were hanging out and bragging about their kids.

  After seeing her in tears, on her bed face down at her own graduation party, it had nearly sent me to my knees. This was her graduation, her party, and she wasn’t having any fun what so ever. Breaking down, I had managed to get the parents off her back and promised that I would keep a close eye on her. Why not? It wasn’t like her four brothers weren’t going to be there. No way in hell would any of us let anything happen to her.

  Sitting back on the lawn chair, I looked at her. Her tee shirt tucked into the waist of those jeans that molded to her firm, round ass, making it look the best that it had ever looked before. Reaching up, she raked her fingers though her long golden locks, bringing them all together and her ponytail holder wrapped around them, securing them.

  Her head tipped back as the laugh came from her, her eyes sparkling in the glow of the fire. Shaking her head, she refused the flannel that one of Rob’s friend’s had offered her. Shivering a little, she just moved a little closer to the fire for warmth. The little girl that I had given a life to was now grown up into the most beautiful woman that I had ever seen. For a girl that had come to the ranch at fourteen, mastering an untamable horse as she had was purely amazing. She had said that it was because she was bored, which was her excuse about everything. No, she wasn’t bored, she was just something very special and we were just blessed to have her come to our family.

  Getting up, I tossed my empty beer bottle into the trash can by the coolers and sucked in a deep breath. Making sure that no one underage had drank wasn’t as big of a chore as I thought it would have been, but seeing as Emmer wasn’t drinking, no one else really bothered to. That alone had shown how much respect those people had for her.

  “Paul?” Sticking her hands deep into her pockets, Emmy slid up next to me as her large, sweet aqua eyes filled into me. Damn, what I wouldn’t do for that best friend of mine. Someday, a guy would be along to grab hold of her and he would be a damn fool to let her go. She was just perfect. She was more than I had ever dreamed of a woman ever being capable of being. “Thank you for getting the parents to back off a little. I appreciate it.”

  “Anything for you, Emmer.” Even though I was seeing Becky now, Emmy still had my full attention. Anything that had involved Emmy, I was right there. Maybe I should have asked Becky to come over tonight, but this wasn’t about Becky and me. This was about Emmy. This was my best friend’s party and I didn’t want to be anywhere else. Nowhere else.

  “Do you think that Jackson’s still sore about Ben showing up at graduation?” Wiggling her tight little body close to mine, she cuddled into my chest as I wrapped my arm around her and felt the crisp breeze starting to chill her soft skin.

  “You know that he is, but he will laugh about it later. He always does.” Nodding, I took in a deep breath and let the scent of her fresh shampoo and horse wash through my veins. How that smell could ever be more intoxicating was beyond me. Any other woman that smelled of horse was actually an instant turn off, but Emmy, it was the only way that a beautiful woman like her should smell. Once again, perfect. Absolutely perfect. “I know that those guys all offered you their shirts, but you should take mine.”

  “Please. I am freezing a little, but I don’t want to go inside yet. Jackson will make me stay there and I am having too much fun.” Pulling her arms close to her, she enhanced those nice breasts of hers as she waited.

  My heart rapped hard in my chest as I couldn’t get my sweatshirt off fast enough. Like I said, I would do anything for her. When I had handed it over, she smiled with those dancing eyes of hers and put it on. Reaching around behind her, I tugged it down and let my hand graze her nice backside. Heat filled so deep inside of me, all I could think about was just how firm she was and how nice she had built her body up. Simply wonderful; better than any woman that I had ever seen before. Even Becky. Becky was nothing compared to Emmy. Nothing at all.

  “So, what are you going to do now seeing as you are all grown up and graduated?” Biting my lip, my eyes drifted down to her chest for a brief second before the dark gray head popped over her shoulder. Of course, not even two steps away was that damn horse of hers. But, he was faithful to her and she was to him also.

  Reaching up and not even thinking about it, she wrapped her arm around his thick neck and patted him as if it were as natural as breathing. “I don’t know. I just want to stay here and work with you some more. I think that we could get a few more horses and train and Jackson would be happy with that.”

  “You would rather stay here and work this place?”

  “Why wouldn’t I, Paul?” Playfully, she slapped my arm, sending liquid heat to rush through my blood stream. Fires burned in my stomach like nothing that I had ever felt before. “Gosh, you’re here. Where else would I ever want to be?”

  “There is a whole world out there, Em. Take the chance and go out. You can do anything that you want to do. You’re smart as hell and so ungodly beautiful that it’s not even funny. Why stay here and waste away your life?”

  “Because, this is home. This is where I feel like I am something. As crazy as Jackson is, I can’t think of what it would be like anywhere away from him. Will, well, I need someone to fight with. And Rob, he teaches me what kind of guys to stay away from even though he doesn’t know it.”

  “Just because you go away doesn’t mean that you can’t come back. You can always come back.”

  Pulling her hands into the long sleeves of the large sweatshirt, she cuddled into it as she rested her head against Ben’s mane. “How can I even go on without my best friend? I need to be with him and he makes me feel special even when I feel like I am nothing.”

  “Ben will always be here, too, and I am sure that you can teach him how to use a phone.”

  Her eyes drifted up to mine, bringing my heart beat to a fast level, a dangerous level. “I mean you, Paul. Ben already knows how to use the phone so I would never have to worry about that. When I feel down about myself, you just make me feel like I am special. Maybe it’s because I still think about what you did for me that night and I will never forget it. I will never forget what you had given me on the night that I just really wanted to die. I figured that no one would even care, but you did. You came after me, you found me and if I can’t just go outside and see you, I am afraid that I might lose that.”

  “Em, you will never lose me.” Wrapping my arm around her, I pulled her tight to me; earning a loud snort from Ben. His ears perked up as he nudged his nose between us. “When you look in the mirror, I want you to see what an amazing and beautiful woman that you are, because you really are, Emmy. You are special and don’t ever forget that.”

  “Do you want me to think about leaving?”

  “No. I don’t ever want you to leave. I am nothing without you.” Wh
en she had looked up, I knew that she was waiting for a laugh or a chuckle, but there was no way in hell that I was going to. Not when I was serious. Sometimes, I did think about what it would be like if she had left and the thought scared the hell out of me. Before she had come to the ranch, I was just there, just going through the motions. Now, it was like I had a reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to be there, and a reason to actually be happy for a change.

  “Paul, I love you. You are my best friend and don’t ever change. Don’t ever change who you are for nobody. You are just perfect the way that you are.” Reaching up on her tippy toes, she pressed her lips against my cheek, her breasts brushing against my arm and I was hurting. I was hurting something fierce in an area that shouldn’t be at all. But, damn it, it just felt good; felt like actually being a man for a change. How could I not get these reactions to her? She was everything that I wanted in a woman. Everything.

  “You better never leave me, Emmy. Never.” Embracing her, I held her a little lower, a little tighter, and a little longer while letting the feeling of her being pressed up against me fill me to the core. God, she felt so damn good, so damn right. And that shampoo, that lingering sweetness in her hair, the soft and sweet nape of her neck. God, this was torture. This was pure torture having her right here and not being able to do anything more than just hug her.

  “I can’t, Paul. I never want to.” She sucked in a deep breath and I was afraid for a minute that she was actually going to pull away, to break this connection. Hell, I needed it. This was what I wanted from now on. This, her, Emmy. But, she hadn’t. The longer and the more that I just held her pressed up against me, the more that she had embraced me back. Maybe she had known what I was actually feeling for her. Maybe she had felt the same way. This was not a brother-sister hug. This was far more than that. Hell, I hadn’t looked at her like my little sister….Well, I don’t think that I ever actually had. She was just the girl that I had saved that lived with us. That sibling relationship was with Rob and Will, but as for me, I should have seen her as that as well, but I didn’t. I really didn’t at all. “Paul?”