Emmerson's Heart Read online

  “Paul…” The little snort of a laugh started to come out until I glared at him and my jaw tightened. “She’s….Oh….” His eyes opened wider as the crimson filled his thick cheeks. “I am sorry, Paul. I didn’t know.”

  “You know how my dad is with her. Don’t bother asking her on another date.”

  Shaking his head, he let out a little smile as his eyes eased from the tension. “I had no idea. I thought so, but I really didn’t, Paul. Besides, she refused the date because she said she was watching movies that night with you.”

  “Damn right.” She did? How come I didn’t catch it that Emmer turned him down to hang out with me? Not that it made any difference. It didn’t, seeing as I would drop everything for her on a dime. When it came to Emmer, she always came first in my life. Becky knew that already and had been on the receiving end of many broken dates because Emmer needed me. I neglected to go hang out with Marc for that weekend and gave up partying because she asked me to go check the herd on a camping trip at the last minute. So, I did what any man would do. I unpacked my bag and saddled up my horse instead of heading to the city to get covered in women.

  Yes, she was my girl. She would be my girl in a couple of weeks and I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t wait for the night to come when she would sneak into my place only to come to my bed instead and I could hold her all night long. Now, my pillow was what kept me from just losing my mind, but soon, though. Soon I would have her in my arms all night. I could hold her and rock her back to sleep and not care who came around. But then, who wouldn’t know she was at my place and in my bedroom. Ben would be standing outside the window, anyway, giving her whereabouts away.

  “She’s a damn good woman, Paul. I’m glad you have her, but I just want to say…..if you hurt her in any way…”

  “I would never hurt her, so don’t even bother thinking about it.” Motioning to his truck again, I bit my lip, wanting him to leave. He needed to leave before my dad caught wind that Emmer had been out on a date while he was away on the cruise.

  Now that Greg was understanding of my situation, he wasn’t that bad of a guy. At least he didn’t threaten to steal Emmer away from me. As if he even stood a chance in hell. Her heart was mine and my heart was all hers. There would be nothing that could ever change that.

  Heading up to the house, I heard the truck door slamming and I knew Greg was leaving. Good thing, too. He didn’t need to be around there checking Emmer out anyway. Her heart belonged to me already. No one else would ever be able to take it away. And no one would ever be able to take mine from her. Nothing could ever make me hurt one little speck of that woman. It would be something that never would happen.

  Walking into the kitchen, I let the screen door slam behind me. There wasn’t any sense in locking it, seeing as Ben wouldn’t leave Emmer’s side and there would be no way she would be in the house anytime soon. Not that woman. Not the woman that craved to be outside from the chance she got to be in the morning until Dad dragged her inside at night.

  Seeing my dad leaning against the sink counter, my stomach tightened instantly. That wasn’t what I expected to see in the kitchen at five in the afternoon. Mom should have been in there starting dinner. Not my dad with his thick arms crossed over his heaving chest and his eyes filled with rage. Anger settled into his blistering red cheeks as the muscles in his jaw flexed. There was only one other time I ever saw that look in him. And that was the night I had to pull him off Emmer’s dad to keep him from killing the monster.

  “What in the hell did you think you were doing?” At least he hadn’t moved yet. He was staying put, but the rage in his eyes said he wasn’t going to be standing there much longer. Any second now, that man would lose it as he always had when it came to something about Emmer.

  “Dad….”

  “I left her with you while we were away. You had no right…”

  “Dad, she is eighteen….” Talking to him was senseless. I knew that and I shouldn’t even try. Emmer was the only one I knew who could bring my dad back down from this rage. She just had that effect on him.

  “I don’t care if she is or isn’t eighteen. She is my little girl!” Stepping back at his sharp heated anger, I swallowed hard. I knew if he found out Emmer went on that date, he would be like this. I didn’t want her to go either and it wasn’t like she was alone. I made sure I was right there. Mostly because when she walked out that door with Greg, the jealousy hit me like a bullet. I had to follow, so I called Becky and sped over to the house to pick her up. I had to do something. Becky, as she was for the past year, was my escape goat. At least with her along, it seemed more like a double date instead of me staking Emmer’s first date.

  “I followed and she was fine. And don’t worry; she came home with me.” Shaking my head, I turned my back to him; something you never do to my old man, but I had to. Just hearing those words falling from my lips felt so damn good. She came home with me. Had anything sounded more perfect than that? Nope. Not that I knew. Those were the best five words in my vocabulary right now all because she was Emmer and Emmer came home with me.

  “I don’t care!” And there he was. The bear was poked and coming unglued. I knew he was. I heard it coming from a mile away. Instead of coming after me, he walked right on by and went out onto the porch.

  Something wasn’t right. Something was…..My stomach clenched tighter than ever. What was going on? Why didn’t he unleash his anger on me about letting Emmer go on that date? Maybe he wasn’t that mad about it seeing as I was there the…..

  “Emmer!” Her name blasted off his tight lips in such a way that I never heard him call her before.

  Oh no! He was going to confront her about it. His anger would subdue once he saw her. It always did. He would rant and rave for a while and once she started talking, he was quiet as a mouse. But something was different in the air. There was something else going on and it wasn’t good at all. It was the first time I wished she was out in the fields with Ben and nowhere close to hearing him calling for her.

  And just my luck, she wasn’t. She came out of the barn with Ben right on her heels as usual. I could clearly see the tightness in her shoulders with the way she carried herself. It sickened me. It sickened me to see that woman that was once freed from all her past misery be taken down by the demons again. That smile and those eyes were dark and filling with fear. I am sure hearing my father yelling her name like he never had before brought her back to a time when she thought she wouldn’t live to see another day.

  “You need to back off her right now, Dad.” Like that helped. I knew I couldn’t control the man, but I had to do something for Emmer’s sake. This was a side of him she never saw before and if he didn’t pull back a bit, she would never be the same with him anymore. She loved him. She loved to fight with him. She loved to test him to see how far she could actually push him. But this wasn’t anything close to what those times were.

  “Don’t you ever tell me what to do.”

  “Look at her. You are bringing her back into that hole we all spent so long getting her out of. Don’t be her dad.” Shaking my head, I went back into the house and saw my mom sitting down at the kitchen island table with the laptop in front of her and a college brochure. “What is he pissed about?”

  “He’s just a little upset that he has to send Emmer off to college for the year.” Her fingers worked fast on the keyboard and then she stopped to wait for the page to load. Her shoulders were tight and I could feel the anger radiating off her.

  “Why the hell does she have to go off to college for a year? That’s going to absolutely kill her to leave the ranch. You know…..”

  “Paul, I know!” Snapping, she cupped her head and sucked in a deep breath. It was the first time I ever saw my mom to the point of frustration like she was. Her shirt wasn’t free of wrinkles as it usually was and her hair was messy as if she were tugging at it. “I know, Paul. I tried to tell him. I did.”

  “Taking her away from the ranch that long is going to break her.�
� My heart just shattered into millions of pieces. Having her gone for the year meant I would be down a major ranch hand and missing time I wanted to spend with her. What if she went off to college and found someone else? What if she decided she didn’t want to be on the ranch anymore? Then what? I could lose her all because of this.

  “You know how your dad is with sending you four off for a year of college. He wants to give her that same chance to see what else is out there.”

  “That is bullshit and you know it. He won’t even let her date, Mom!” Running my fingers through my hair, I just wanted to pull it all out. This was bad. This was very bad. Having her gone like that ruined all my plans. It ruined everything.

  No, no it didn’t. I would still be with her. I would just talk to her and tell her if need be, I would come to the city every night if she wanted me to. I would just have to leave early to get back to the ranch in the morning. That’s all. And on the weekends, she could be home and I could have her there with me. This could work. It was just a year and then she could just do the rest of her schooling online and she would be at the ranch. It was just a year. No big deal. It would be good for her to experience life outside of the ranch, the life he never let her see was out there. I didn’t have to worry about her heart going to someone else. She never would be able to love someone else like she loved me anyway.

  The yelling and the fighting intensified outside in the front lawn. Ben’s warnings shot through the air, making sure my dad stayed his distance and as long as he did, Ben wouldn’t go after him. My dad knew how Ben was with Emmer and how he protected her. That horse wouldn’t think twice about taking him down.

  “I don’t understand why he is willing to send her away for a year when he barely lets her out of the house without him watching.” Shaking my head, I turned back to my mom and saw those hazel eyes filled with so much water shifting up to me. The air in my lungs shot out hard and fast. It wasn’t that he wanted to send her away. It was that he needed to, but why? Why would he take her away from the place and the people she needed and loved so much?

  “He has to,” was all she said before she stared back at the computer.

  Storming out of the house, I walked past, leaving Ben right with Emmer. I knew she wouldn’t be comfortable if I had taken him, even if I could get that horse away from her right now, with my dad’s anger at a whole new level. For as much as I wanted to stay and defend her to him, to step up and step in to show him what a big mistake he was making, I had to go to my place.

  I could see where he always went off the deep end with Emmer. I felt it now and against my own dad. It was all for her sake. I couldn’t let her get sucked back into that darkness of misery she came from and worked so damn hard to get freed from. But me stepping in for her, taking the heat of my father for her, I knew it would only make matters worse for her right now. She had the way of getting him to back down and I hoped like hell she would this time.

  I waited around. For three damn hours, they battled and battled, neither one backing down. Finally, it was he who had the last word, and I knew Emmer hadn’t won this one. And seeing her ride off on Ben told me she wasn’t happy at all. Making my way back toward the house, I watched him shaking his head, knowing he was wrong. He was wrong for wanting to send her away. And he was wrong for the way he went after her.

  “You do know by sending her off, she’s going to date and be with a bunch of other guys.” Okay, so I was a little mad still, but my Emmer was being taken away. I wouldn’t be able to ride with her anymore, only on the weekends. And I knew he was upset about having to send her away to the city for a year. I had to hit him right where it hurt. If she couldn’t win against him, maybe I could for her. Anything to keep Emmer there with me, where she belonged.

  “Not until I am dead.” Cursing, his eyes sharpened on me as he went to the porch. “Don’t even try it.”

  “She doesn’t want to leave the ranch, Dad. You can see that.” My heart was breaking. I had to go find her and see how she was doing.

  “That isn’t the reason why I have to send her away.” Waving his hand behind him, he dismissed the conversation and let his shoulders drop in defeat. He won, but yet he lost. He won his point of view, but he lost Emmer by doing so. If he wasn’t going to back down now, he would later. I knew he would. He didn’t want her gone no more than I wanted her away from me.

  Heading back toward the barn, I found Emmer out back crying as hard as she could. Cupping her elbow, I pulled her tight to me and wrapped her into my arms.

  “This won’t be so bad.” With each cry getting louder and more breathless, it was taking me down inside. I didn’t want her to leave the ranch and definitely not Ben. It would kill all of us not having Emmer there where she belonged. “Hey, I will come and stay with you whenever you need me to or want me to or have to have me to. And you will be home on the weekends so we can spend time together.”

  “You….you would….come…stay….with me…every night?” When those aqua watery eyes shifted up to mine, that was when I lost it all to her. I was smitten to her. I was hers completely. I was going to marry her someday. I was, hell or high water. She would be mine one day and no one could ever take her away from me again.

  Chapter 28

  ****Present****

  Emmerson

  The car twisted and turned up the hill, bringing my stomach to drop from my chest. His hand tightened on mine as I felt the incline, knowing that it was coming. As I laid back in the seat, he had sighed heavily knowing that we were getting close to the spot that had taken Jackson’s life away, the spot that he had given his life just to protect me. Since leaving the city, Marc had tried to get me to fall back to sleep, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t while knowing that we had to go back. We had to return to the ranch. This was coming, but I hadn’t wanted it to come now. Not yet. It was Thanksgiving and Connie had insisted that we come. Still, I could tell that she wasn’t too happy with finding out that Marc and I were more than friends, but I didn’t blame her one bit. Since their visit, my life had gone back downhill fast and Marc was there trying to help me through it all.

  We hadn’t actually had sex at all and I wasn’t sure that I was ready to take that step with him yet, not until Connie was okay with the thought of us together. For as much as I didn’t want to be there, I wanted to so that I could talk to her about it. I did miss her. I missed her a lot, but we had spoken over the phone quite a bit. But it was the whole Paul issue that was arising and the pain was just getting deeper with each mile that he had driven.

  Just as he rounded the top, I closed my eyes while holding onto his hand as tight as I could. God, it was all over again. It was happening again. The pain, the holding onto him for dear life, the fear. Letting out a cry, I felt him bringing my hand to his chest.

  “It’s okay, Baby. I am right here.” The pain sunk into his voice as he pressed his lips to my warm skin. “I have you now. I have you, Baby.”

  “I can’t. I can’t go back. Please.” Rolling over to the side, I pressed my head against his shoulder, wanting it all to end. Being at his place, I had been able to breathe again, to live for once without the constant reminder, but just knowing that this was where the pain that Paul had caused was making it all worse again.

  “Just hang on, Emmy. We are almost past it.” With his voice cracking, he slowed to take the corner that claimed Jackson’s life and all that came to my mind was ‘I don’t care if she died tomorrow’. How could he hate me that much? How could he even think that? If he had known that Jackson wanted me to come home so that I could talk to Paul, so that we could be friends again, he would understand more. He would know. “Emmy, I love you, Baby. I love you so much.”

  “Marc, please. Take me back. Take me back home. I can’t do this.” I couldn’t face Paul. I couldn’t see that anger in his eyes. Not for as much as I still loved him. I couldn’t do that to Marc. I loved him too much also. My poor Marc. I should have just died. I should have just let myself go when I had the chance. The
only reason why I fought so damn hard through all that pain and suffering was because of Paul. I couldn’t do that to him. I loved him. I loved him so much. I fought to stay alive for him. He was the reason why Jackson had come to get me.

  “Emmy, we have to go home at some point. I will be right there, Baby. I’m not going to leave you. It’s going to be hard being the first holiday without him, but Baby, it’s better to be with our family.”

  “It hurts too bad. Please,” I begged again, knowing that he was right. Staying at his place for Thanksgiving would only make this worse. I wanted to go back. I wanted to see my brothers and I wanted to see my mama. I needed her. I really needed her. But Paul, Paul was the reason why I didn’t want to be there.

  I had given him Jackson’s necklace, the one that he had told me to give to someone who I had deemed worthy of my heart and I did. I gave it to Paul. Still knowing what he had said that night and that he had admitted to it, I still gave it to him. It belonged to him and only him.

  “I know, Baby. I know. I will be right there with you. I will be your shoulder when you need it. Don’t ever be afraid to lean on me, Emmy. I love you.”

  God, I hated myself even more. I had to stop this. I had to get away.

  His phone rang, making him break the contact with my hand and making me cry even more. “Hello?” Pinning the phone between his ear and his shoulder, he reached back over for my hand as he let out a breath. “Yes, we just came over the hill….She’s just having a little bit of a hard time….I know, Mom….I know.”

  He handed the phone over to me while his eyes were fixated on the road. Holding the phone to my ear, I gritted my teeth while trying to hold back the cries. I just wanted her to take me in her arms and hold me like she had a couple times before. She had a time or two when Jackson wasn’t there, but still, it had been Jackson that had always been there for me. After he left me, she had come into my room at night to sit with me and let me cry.