Emmerson's Heart Page 22

  Connie grumbled as she went to the kitchen to flip the latch. Just as the door opened, Paul cussed as the clumping of Ben’s hooves started the struggle.

  “Get me a damn apple or something!” Grunting and groaning, the slip of his boots echoed through the house and Jackson turned his glare to me. It was a hard glare that had always made Rob and Will stop what they were doing, but not me. I was immune to it. He was a pussy cat anyway. “Ben, enough! Stop!”

  “I’m going to have to get some more when I go to town,” Connie grumbled.

  “Go, go get it.” Paul threw the apple out in the yard, causing Ben’s hooves to pound on the solid wood porch. Letting out a loud breath, he slammed the door shut and latched it. “Ugh, I told you two not to lock her in the house. Just let her go, but no. See what you two get.”

  “He can’t just come in the house, Paul.” Connie led him into the house and I could see the frustration in her face as she looked at Marc.

  “He wouldn’t try to come into the house if you would just let her be outside. Think of that.” His eyes shot up to Marc as the anger had filled into them more. “Let her go now.”

  The hold was released as Marc stepped back. “How are you doing?”

  “I need a damn beer so let’s get this done and over with.” Paul’s arm came down on my shoulder as he gave me a little squeeze. “I missed you out in the barn, seeing as I had no other help.”

  “I am ready to just go outside. I’ve been cooped up in here all day!” Plopping back down to the floor, I buried my face into my arms while counting down the minutes. All we had to do was give them their damn gift and I could skip cake and ice cream again to go out and take a ride. That apple wasn’t going to hold Ben much longer. He was feeling the separation too.

  “God, Emmy! Go get a tampon or something. You’ve been moody all day.” Rob folded his arms across his chest as he groaned loudly.

  “Really? You want to start in on that?” Raising my head, I noticed that Marc had taken a seat at the fireplace ledge and Paul had sat on the floor with his back against the wall by the entertainment center.

  “Emmer, let it go. The more that this goes on, the more that you will be stuck in here. I still need to get some things done tonight.” Closing his eyes, Paul brushed off the front of his black tee shirt that molded tight to his muscular chest.

  “Yeah, Emmer!” Will spouted off for a change. Hell, he barely said anything today, but then again, he was the one that I had tortured all day from the boredom. “Sorry, Marc. It’s that time of the month again.”

  “You…”

  “Emmer, just clamp it shut and let this go.” Paul hissed at me.

  “Why is it that my period always has to come into play? They can talk about…”

  “Emmer!” Snapping at me, his eyes opened as those dark browns were filling with the exhaustion already. “Just let it go.”

  “Yeah, Emmer. Just get a tampon and shut it.” Rob smirked at me, building the fire deep inside of me. “It’s like this once a month, Marc. Be glad that you’re not around when she has her period.”

  “She is having an end of a sentence?” Will raised his left brow as he looked at Rob. I could see the sparkle of playfulness in his eyes, paying me back for the little arguments that I had picked with him all day. Earlier, I had sat with him in his room to play his game, asking him why this, why that every second that we played. “Why do they call it a period, anyway? Why not call it a question mark because we are uncertain….

  “No, you see a girl will get her period. It’s the period when you want to stay clear…” Rob pulled his phone out as he flipped through the screen.

  “We don’t need to talk about my period!” Yelling, I jumped up and lunged for him only to be caught and brought back down by Paul and his large body. Damn, he was so hard, so solid with muscle. Heat pooled inside of me as his front had pressed into my back, his arms pinning my sides down and not giving me any escape. A little part of me didn’t want to. This felt….so good.

  “She had it two weeks ago, so let it go.” The roar of the laugh had belted straight through me, intensifying the heat. My breath caught as I let myself relax under his body, under his weight. Tingles went through to my middle, bringing on something new; something that I had never experienced before. “Marc, she has it all backward. The irritableness is when she doesn’t have her period. When she actually has it, she’s calm and sweet.”

  “Enough!” Jackson belted out, making everyone jump. “Enough.” Thank you, Jackson. I didn’t need everyone to know when I had my monthly statement. It was bad enough that Paul was right, but I wasn’t going to admit it. I didn’t want to admit it.

  “Okay, so, now that we all are clear on Emmy’s cycle—” Marc cleared his throat as his eyes shifted over to me as his cheeks filled in with the dark crimson. I knew that my monthly payment to Mother Nature was making him a little more uncomfortable. What a nice way for the one brother who doesn’t live with us and isn’t around a lot to get involved in that situation. At least, he wasn’t here when Jackson found out the devastating news that I wanted to get on birth control. Yes, that was still a very sore subject for Jackson and I just didn’t know why he was so afraid of a little pill? Maybe for the fact that I had to swallow the damn thing and I might choke. Lord and I knew, I wasn’t having sex and that wasn’t the reason for me going on it. But feeling Paul pressing against my backside, something was different, something like the feelings in those damn books I read when I was really bored and couldn’t sleep at night.

  “You can let me up now.” No, I didn’t want him to. I didn’t want Paul to get off me. Having him lying on top of me was too damn good, too damn right.

  “Don’t think so. Let’s just get this going. The longer that we keep her caged, the longer I don’t get shit done.” The vibrations through his chest had come through mine, filling me with more than just having my brother pinning me to the floor. This was so much more than that and I wondered if it was supposed to feel like this.

  “Alright.” Shrugging, Marc cleared his throat and pulled the envelope out of his back pocket. “For your anniversary, we all got together and got you this.” Passing it over to Jackson, he smiled at Connie. “It’s a two week cruise and you leave Sunday. I will drop you off at the airport on my way home.”

  “Oh, that is so sweet.” Connie took her place on Jackson’s knee as they had looked over the brochure and the tickets. “We could really use a trip.”

  “We all wanted you to have a special time. We think that you deserve it.” Paul pressed my face into the carpet as he chuckled. “And don’t worry about Emmy. I will stay here and watch over her.”

  “No Ben in the house what so ever.” Connie pointed at me with the stern look to her face. “Keep the doors locked and if I find out that he was in my house again, little girl….”

  “I promise! I promise! I will stay in the barn.” I had to offer knowing exactly where that was going also. There would be no way that Jackson would ever let me stay in the barn; Paul neither. But my poor horse….All he wanted was a friend. Couldn’t these people see that? It wasn’t like he was that big anyway. Plus, he was more like a dog. He could sleep at the foot of my bed. I would share.

  “Emmer, that will not help at all,” his voice whispered as his face was tucked down by my neck. The heat from his breath was warming and tickling the soft skin while building more blistering feelings deep inside of me. The flames were burning in my belly and the butterflies were fluttering like crazy. “Just stay quiet or he will never go.”

  When Paul had talked to me about the cruise and sending the parents on it for their anniversary, I was upset at the whole idea. I didn’t want Jackson to go away and it was hard for me to not have him for two weeks, but Paul assured me that he would be there with me until Jackson had come back. And Paul was the one that I trusted if not more than Jackson himself. But with having Paul laying on me like this, I wasn’t so sure that this would be a good idea now. Not with the way that I was reall
y feeling having Paul’s hard body fitting so perfectly with mine. I had to get things straightened out and having these feelings about Paul made me worry more about Jackson leaving for those two weeks.

  Maybe that was why Jackson flipped out when he found out that I wanted to get on birth control. I knew that girls in school, my class, were on it and they were also having sex. Not something I was planning or wanting, but I could see where the strong feelings had come into play, making girls do stupid things. And this was it. This had to be it. It was exactly like it was in those stupid nonsense books where I learned about sex.

  Nope…..I had to start getting my life focused on other things besides Paul. I needed to get this strange feeling out of my system before Paul would ever notice and never want anything to do with me. It was wrong, wasn’t it? These feelings? I shouldn’t have them for him, should I?

  I rough housed with Will and Rob both and never had anything like this happen before. Lately, it was just with Paul. A little with Marc when he had caught me before my escape, but that was because I wasn’t around him like the others. I barely knew him. But Paul, I knew everything about him. I knew what he did on those nights he went to town, to the bar. I knew he was chasing after that girl, Becky, again and she wasn’t giving him much of a chase either. It was starting to sting, but probably just because he was talking to her a lot more and hanging out with her after chores a whole lot more.

  “Can I get up now if I promise not to run?” Swallowing hard, I let my fighting stop because I needed Paul to get off me. The other times, I never had a problem, but this time, there was something different.

  “Emmer, don’t say anything. Don’t do anything. Just give him some time to see that you will be okay here with me or he will not go.” His voice softened a little more to a loudness that only I could hear while the others talked about the cruise.

  “I don’t want him to go!” I couldn’t let Jackson leave. I understood that it was only for two weeks and it was just a vacation, but I needed him there. After having this reaction to Paul, I had no idea what to do.

  “Emmy, we talked about this.” His hold eased on my arms as his arms rested along my sides as he tipped his face deeper into my neck. His breath shot down my shoulder and his lips brushed against my skin as I moved slightly. The fires raged inside of me. I was burning in places that I never knew could be on fire from a simple nonchalant gesture. New aches arrived in the parts of my body that only three people had ever seen and that was all because one had saved my life and the other two were there witnessing what wrath another human being could place on someone. “He is going to come back.”

  “No!” Gasping, I shoved up on my arms with everything I had, the back of my head connecting with Paul. A loud curse ripped through the silent living room as Paul rolled off to the side, covering his nose and mouth. Tears burst through the hold I had when I felt everyone’s eyes on me; except for Paul’s, who was trying to stop the bleeding from his nose. “I can’t….”

  “Emmer! Damn it! We talked about this! I told you that it….”

  “You just want him to leave! I don’t! I don’t and you will never understand!” There was really something wrong with me. Why was I feeling that way with Paul pinning me to the floor? He was my best friend, the one that saved my life. He was…..supposed to be like a brother to me.

  “Emmer…” Marc cleared his throat as his eyes shifted over at the compassion filling in on Jackson’s face. “We can….”

  “No! Just….No! You just want to take him away from me!” What in the world had come over me? No, Jackson couldn’t leave. Not now. Not after what happened. And it wasn’t anything Paul did. I wasn’t supposed to have those feelings like that for him of all people. I didn’t with Will or Rob. Why Paul? Hell, I never had those feelings with anyone. Not even with Rob’s friends when they came around. I couldn’t risk Jackson going on this trip. And I couldn’t risk having Paul find out about what just happened either.

  “Honey….” Connie stood from the couch and reached out for me, but I backed away. Had they seen the way I reacted to Paul’s touch? Oh, they would send me away instantly. There was something wrong with me and I didn’t know what.

  “Emmer…..” In one swift movement, Jackson reached out, captured my arm, and tugged me to him. “You are stuck in this family whether you like it or not. I will be back and I will call you….”

  “Why do you want to leave me? I can’t….”

  “Hey.” Pulling me tight to his chest, he cupped the back of my head and let me cry on him like usual. If only he knew why I didn’t want him to leave… He was my guardian. Nothing bad could happen with him here. Nothing would at all. Sure, Paul would be there, but I needed protection from that wrong feeling I had from him. “The boys will be here with you. Does it really scare you that much to have me go on this trip?”

  “Yes!” So maybe I was overreacting, but I was scared. I was scared to be alone with Paul for the simple fact I had just had a strong reaction to what he was doing, though he had done that a few times before. Well, pretty much every holiday or family time.

  “Let’s just discuss this…” Jackson’s strong voice eased as he gave me a squeeze.

  “Let me talk to her.” Getting to his feet, Paul walked over and took my hand and pulled me to him. “Just give me a minute and I will talk to her about this. This is why you can’t keep her locked inside all day. You two should know that.”

  “It’s her exclamation mark, isn’t it?” Will stifled a little giggle as Rob busted out in laughter.

  “Her quotations, Will.” Rob fell into the youngest of the brothers and the one I had stolen lunches from before I came to live with the Hucks. How come I didn’t have any of these kinds of feelings for either one of them? They were handsome, just as handsome as Paul…..well, not as handsome. But Paul was Paul. Paul was my best friend and the one I depended on so much to be there when I needed him. How could something like this happen?

  “Guys….Now is not the time.” Jackson cleared his throat as the worry came through. This would be the first time that he was gone for more than a day that I wouldn’t be able to see him. Paul had talked to me about this before, when the brothers decided to get the parents the trip in the first place. It was me that they waited on to see how I would take it.

  “Have cake and ice cream and let me talk to her.” Tugging me down the hall to my bedroom, Paul shoved the door open, releasing me as he blocked my escape. “What is going on? We talked about this, Emmer.”

  “I can’t have him gone for that long.” And that was all I could come up with? Paul always knew when I was lying to him. Hell, I never had to lie to him either. I could tell him anything and he would never think less of me. Well, that was before something changed inside of me.

  “Really? Emmer? Come on.” Checking over his shoulder, he made sure Jackson stayed in the living room and hadn’t followed. Then again, if I was talking to Paul, Jackson wasn’t too worried. He knew how close the two of us were. But the whole thing was, I had something change inside of me that turned into a strong sexual feeling toward the one who saved my life. Thankfully, he hadn’t figured it out. For once, he hadn’t noticed that I was lying to him, which I absolutely hated. “I will be here with you. If you are that scared, I will stay up here instead of at my house. I want him to go. I want him to have this trip for you.”

  “Why?” My voice cracked. Why would Paul want Jackson to go for me? Why would he do that to me? I needed Jackson as much as I needed Paul.

  “So you can have a chance at seeing what a little bit of life is about. Please, trust me. I would never do anything to ever hurt you. Never in my life. Trust me.”

  How could I back down from that? The two men that I trusted with my life, Jackson and Paul, would never let me get hurt or put me anywhere in a situation where someone else could hurt me again. I knew that. I knew Paul would never hurt me.

  Nodding, I pulled back my embarrassment and tears. Maybe it was just something stupid that happened and
a one-time deal thing. Nothing more would ever happen and there would be no way Paul would ever let someone hurt me. Nor would he ever hurt me either.

  Chapter 23

  ****Present****

  Watching Marc hunching over the table still working, my heart sank a little. Watching him work as hard as he was with me there, being out of his office and at the condo, made me feel even worse than I already did. For him to try to do all this at home three days out of the week was hard, seeing as all the things he needed weren’t there, but I was. I was the reason he wasn’t there working where his job could be ten times easier. Marc going to the office now twice a week to keep caught up, meant I was there those days by myself. It was late when he came in on those lonely days, but once again, it was me who was making him suffer because of me being here with him. Last weekend, he had taken me out to dinner and a movie, but we hadn’t made it through the whole movie when the pain started to settle in. Just another thing he was missing out on because of me. But on the way home, all he did was hold my hand and smile. He didn’t care that we left early, just being together was enough. And that was something I had with Paul a long time ago. Something I was learning to live without. Paul.

  A few times, Greg called, offering to take me out as he promised and I could tell that it weighed heavily on Marc’s mind with the way that he had looked at me, but he never did say anything about it. That was one thing I really liked about Marc. He understood that I would have other guy friends, but he hadn’t gone off on rampages about it, about a guy hanging around. Hell, Paul nearly attacked Greg on my very first date I had. And not to count, Paul was the one I ended up going home with because Greg was going to kiss me. And it wasn’t just Greg. Paul damn near attacked Rob’s friends for talking to me. He sneered, cussed, and pitched fits when they would call before and after the accident. More so afterward, but still, Paul hated when other guys talked to me. Marc, on the other hand, trusted me enough.

  Getting up from the couch, I went over to the television stand and picked up the photo of the family where I had my arms around Jackson, my cheek pressed against his cheek, and the smiles on our faces actually matched. For once, my smile was very real and his was so bright and loving…. My eyes burned with tears as I brushed my fingers along his face. Still, I missed him so much. I missed my Jackson. Maybe it was the constant battles that we had where I made that man actually back down from the arguments that I missed the most. Maybe I missed his strong ways on his “safety” with me. Maybe I…..I just missed everything about him. And it hurt so bad. It hurt so much…..just seeing what….I brought him to. I needed him yet. I still needed him. No matter whatever I did to get hauled into his office at the ranch home, when he would rant and rave for hours at me, when I absolutely needed him, he was there. He was always there for me. And I needed him so much right now. Didn’t he know that? Didn’t he know that I would still need him?