Emmerson's Heart Page 14

  “It’s not fair.”

  “Emmy, you’re not losing us if that’s what you think.”

  “Someday I will, and I can’t stop it. Someday, I will lose you.” Falling back into his chest, I felt the hurt returning with a vengeance. God, I already loved all of them so much and slowly, I was losing them one by one.

  “Why don’t you give him a call, Emmy? You can call him any time.” Connie picked a few pieces of hay out of my hair as she sighed heavily. “Just don’t ever scare us like that again.”

  “Why didn’t you just come to my place if the nightmare was that bad?” Paul cleared his throat while sitting up and raking his hand through his dark curly hair. “You know that we can’t trust that horse yet.”

  “I can, Paul. I can trust him. I need him. Please, don’t take him away from me.” My voice cracked as I looked at the compassion pouring out of Jackson.

  “Emmy, my job here is to protect my family, to keep you all safe. Seeing you in that coral with the way that he was acting, it worries me that someday he will hurt you. I can’t have that. You’re my little girl no matter what. It would just kill me if anything happened to you. You are my life, Emmy. My family is my life. Finding you gone like that and not at Paul’s, it scared the hell out of me, Honey. I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you.” Cupping my cheeks in his hands, his eyes deepened with the most love that I had ever gotten from anyone. I knew then, it was that moment, that I truly had become his daughter.

  “He was after me again and he wasn’t going to stop. I got scared and I ran to Ben to protect me. He knows what it’s like. I just went to him to protect me.”

  “This place is filled with people that will protect you now, Emmy. You are a part of this family. Our family. No one here will ever, ever let anyone hurt you again. Do you understand me?” Pulling me back to his chest, he just held me tightly as Connie went to the kitchen to begin breakfast and Paul went out to work on feeding the other horses. Just sitting there with Jackson was something that I had only dreamed with my father. Not once had my father ever held me when I was hurting or scared. Not once had he ever defended me, worried about me, anything. But this, this here with Jackson? I had never wanted anything more in my life except to have him there all the time.

  “I woke up….I woke up and he had a knife.” The breath caught in my throat as I cuddled into Jackson’s embrace. Not once did I ever talk about anything my father had done to me, but for some reason, I felt that I needed to tell him. Maybe he would just think I was telling him the dream I had. He didn’t need to know that I was telling him what actually happened on the last birthday I had with my real father. “I tried to scream, but he covered my mouth….My lips hurt so bad from crushing against my teeth….He…He let that cold blade run against my skin at first. And the look in his eyes….”

  That was the worst part about it. I could sustain the pain, the physical pain, but that pure look of evil satisfaction was in those aqua eyes, dancing with delight, excitement in seeing what he could do. That was in all the nightmares I had with my dad in them. Every single damn one of them.

  “He would run the knife over my skin again, digging in a little deeper….and deeper each time. God, it hurt and I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t do anything. But….the way he looked….”

  “Emmy, if I had known….”

  “He cut me over and over….Not very deep, but….all I could do was lay there.”

  “Never again, Emmy. Never again will I let someone hurt you. You belong to me. You are my daughter now, and I don’t care what anyone says or what any paperwork says….You are my daughter now and no one will ever change that.” His hold tightened on me as he sucked in a few deep breaths. No, he knew I wasn’t telling him my dream. Without even telling him, he knew. “I want to give you something….”

  Releasing me, he reached up behind his neck to the silver chain that was always around his neck, the necklace he never took off. Unclasping it, he let it fall into his hand and he held it up to me.

  “This was the necklace my foster father had given to me when I realized he wasn’t letting me go. That was when I became part of his family. I want you to have it. You don’t have to wear it, but what I want you to do with this….” His eyes softened to a deep brown like I never saw before in him. I never knew his father was actually a foster father. No one ever told me that Jackson wasn’t with his real parents. Maybe he went through something similar to what I had. Maybe his scars were hidden like Ben’s and mine were, and that was why I didn’t see it before. “I want you, when you see there is someone out there that is worthy of you, of having anything to do with your heart, I want you to give this to them to let them know they are a part of you now. It can only go to someone you deem as worthy enough.”

  “Jackson….”

  “Please, Emmy. Promise me you will only give it to someone you know is worthy enough to have it. It’s a special necklace. It is special like I am and you are and whoever you give it to. So hang onto it and when you ever find someone that means that much to you, you pass it on.”

  Wrapping my arms around him, I just pressed my face into his chest. For someone to take me in as their own, to tell me that I belonged to him now as his daughter, I knew I never wanted to leave this place. I never wanted to leave him. If I could just live there on the ranch for the rest of my life, I would. Instead of just me and Ben being the ones who were physically and emotionally hurt by others, Jackson was too. And I think everyone else didn’t know about Jackson. This was something we shared and could relate to. Because of this, I think he could see where Ben was coming from now. The three of us would always be together in our hearts, having experienced a lot of what people never knew about. We made one.

  Chapter 13

  ****Past****

  Paul

  Her and that damn horse. I had never seen the connection between a girl and a horse like that before. Hell, he had followed her everywhere. If she was in the barn, he was right behind her. If she was outside, he was not even two steps behind. Numerous times, I had to go down to the school to pick him up as he seemed to follow her there. A few times, I think that he had actually scented her out in search for her. Just last week when Emmy had to go to the city with Mom and Dad, I swear, if I hadn’t caught Ben clear on the other side of town, he would have gone to the city searching for her, too.

  And she was just as bad as that damn horse. Everywhere she had gone, she made sure that he was right there with her. The damn thing had become her eighteen hand tall puppy. Still, some nights, she had snuck down to the barn with him just to avoid the nightmares. It wasn’t often she had them anymore, but when she did, he was the one that she went to. It had cut me a little knowing that I wasn’t the one that she had run to, but what could I say? Ben and she were a pair, gone through the same horror and pain in their lives.

  It had amazed me, though, and I do think that Ben was a blessing for her. If I had known the two were desperate for each other, I would have hauled her ass to that trailer the second that he had come. Working with Ben nearby wasn’t that bad. He did mind his business for the most part and she still worked as if he wasn’t nearby. Damn, that girl could work too. Hell, she had outworked Will and Rob constantly. That was, until Dad had a call from the school about her and her late assignments. The kid was bored. So very bored. Her tests were all perfect, but the teachers were pissed that she had rushed through the majority of her assignments just so she could work.

  When he would have her in his office yelling at her, I could tell by the way that Ben acted that it had pissed him off. Just in the few times that she had raised her voice, that horse was getting protective. Something else I had never seen a horse do in all my life. But, Ben wasn’t a normal horse. He was a dog that was attached to her hip.

  Lately, Emmy had been on edge a little more picking random fights with Rob and Will just to get them going. A few times, she had tried with me, but I didn’t buy into it. The poor girl was just bored and she really hadn’t made an
y more friends in school other than Will. The kids still teased her, but they hadn’t known why she was living with us. All she had done was chalked it up as her dad had to leave town for a job and my parents were willing to take her in so that she didn’t have to change schools yet again. Not too much of a lie, just not the whole truth.

  Dinner was uptight with Pastor Don over for Sunday dinner. Mom had put on a happy show, but Emmy wasn’t happy. Dad had scolded her about her homework again which she had done in record time when she had gotten home on Friday, but he wasn’t buying the fact that she “knew the answers” already. I still didn’t fully understand where she had gotten her smarts from, but she was a freaking smart kid.

  Rob, being the jerk that he was being, had smirked at her as he got her riled up. Not the time to rile up Emmer while the pastor was there; the pastor from the church that Mom was actively involved in. Like he had anything to talk about with school and homework. Being in his first year of college, Dad had agreed to let him take the second semester online and come home to help with the spring rush. That was when we needed him the most. Even though Emmy wasn’t admitting it, I still think that she had done a spell of his homework again.

  “You just shut your damn mouth!” The voice ripped out of her so fast that it had scared me. Hell, I hadn’t even caught what he had said and apparently he hadn’t either with the look he was shooting to my mom.

  “I didn’t say anything!” Sitting back, he shifted his look over to my dad, knowing that the silence was going to erupt pretty soon, as soon as the pastor left. With Don to Rob’s right and Will’s left, he chuckled a little as he moved the corn around on his plate.

  “Like hell you didn’t!” Emmy growled as she pointed her fork at him, almost knocking over her glass of milk. But Mom had caught it and moved it out of the way. Wearing her new blue tee shirt and dark jeans, a few scars had poked out of the sleeve making her draw her arm back. She was still so self-conscious about those scars. Still, she was a pretty girl and going to grow up to be a beautiful woman, scars or no scars. They were just a part of her and there wasn’t any shame into them.

  Hearing something strange in the kitchen, I leaned back in my chair just enough to see the straight shot to the door. That damn horse was coming up the steps. Nearly choking on my pork chop, I couldn’t believe it. That was a first. Normally, he would just wait at the steps for her to finish eating and come out for their nightly talk and play time. Now, he was trying to come up the steps and onto the porch.

  She had gotten into more trouble with that damn horse than anything. Dad had been getting calls from the school about his loitering and she had been called out of class a few times to get him out of the gym while the large doors were open. At least, she would have two years to graduation. And then the nonsense with the horse at the school could end for my dad’s sake.

  “Emmerson, that’s not appropriate at the table!” Mom gasped at Emmy’s word of hell shooting her look over to the man wearing the black long sleeved shirt and the Dockers. But as Pastor Don was a younger man, he smiled and let it go.

  “He is the one that started it! He said it first!” She hissed through her teeth, sending some corn flying over the table, some hitting Don’s chest and falling to his lap.

  “I didn’t say anything. I am just here having a nice meal with our guest.” Rob’s smirk earned a heated growl from her as she stood with the anger written all over her sweet face.

  “That is bull crap and you know it! You are the one that said….”

  Shit, that damn horse made it onto the porch. With the warm start of mid-April, Mom had the windows open to air out the short, stale winter. Rubbing my chin, I picked up my glass of milk and forced a deep breath. “Emmer, you might want to quiet down. Just sit down and eat.”

  “You!” The heated glare shot to me instantly. “Don’t tell me to…”

  “Just sit down and eat so that you and Ben can go play tag.” I eyed her, hoping like hell that she would catch my drift.

  “Yeah, sit down and eat, Emmerson.” Rob snarled playfully.

  Running a hand through my hair, I felt my heart jump a little when hearing something different. Looking back to the kitchen, I watched that damn fool of a horse bite at the handle on the screen door. If he figured out how to open it, Pastor Don was in for a huge treat. I had to get her to calm down and lower her damn voice. “Emmer, just….”

  “No! I am so sick and tired of always being the one to blame! He started it!” Belting out had made it worse. That horse of hers was going to figure out how to get that damn screen door open any way that he could. Just like her, that damn horse was smart.

  “I know, but….”

  “Emmy, sit down and finish your dinner.” Rob barked at her with the coy smile behind his eyes. “It seems that someone got her period.”

  Closing my eyes, I just shook my head. Not a smart thing to do. I would have to smack him upside the head later. That was not appropriate at the table, nor anywhere. He was just egging her on and it wasn’t anyone’s business if she did or not. She wasn’t any different.

  “I ought to come over this table and strangle you!” Her fists were clenched as the growl came from my dad. His face was turning red with anger and I knew that when she had started her whole “womanly” thing, my dad wasn’t too happy. It had meant that his little girl wasn’t a little girl anymore. And she wasn’t with the enhancement of her body now. She had just been a late bloomer, but I was glad that she was from what she had gone through with her father. There wouldn’t be a way that she would have gotten what she needed there. “For your information, I had it last week, you fool! If you must know!”

  “Emmerson!” Dad hissed as his hard eyes shot to her. He hated it whenever the fact of her cycle had come up. And now, it had only made him drive into extreme overprotectiveness with her. Now, boys would see what a beautiful woman she was turning into and they would start chasing her.

  Checking at the kitchen situation, I coughed when I saw that damn animal determined more than ever and half way through the door already. “Emmy, clamp it shut.”

  “You are sitting there letting him talk like that? Paul, he started it!” and there was what I was waiting for. Now, Ben was inside the house and my mom would have a complete fit. “He’s sitting there talking about stuff that isn’t anyone’s business, Paul!”

  “Maybe you need to go into the kitchen and take a deep breath.” That horse was standing in the kitchen and if I had moved, he was sure to come and join us for dinner. If she would just listen to me and go in there, she could get him out before my parents had noticed that there was a big horse in the house.

  “No! It’s not fair! He started it, Paul!” Her eyes glassed over as she looked at me, not believing that I was siding with Rob. I wasn’t. I was just saving her the ass-chewing of a life time. “It’s not fair! You three are just getting on me because I am a girl!”

  “That’s bullshit and you know it. Go to the kitchen and take a breath!” Damn it! I knew better. I knew that I shouldn’t have raised my voice because he was coming now. My dad straightened up at the clopping of his hooves. He heard that. “Emmy, shut the hell up. Please.”

  “You’re all a bunch of jerks!” Sitting back down, my mom turned to her to say something, but her eyes had caught the rather, very large animal in the room.

  Screaming, she jumped up along with Pastor Don and my dad. “There’s a horse in my house! A horse!”

  Emmy tipped her head, quickly shoveling in as much food as she could into her mouth. “This is pretty good stuff here. What’s the seasoning in this…”

  “There’s a horse in the house! Jackson! There’s a horse in the house!” The screams matched Ben’s as he shifted, knocking right into her antique buffet along the wall behind me. Did I move or did I try to get him? If I had made any sudden moves, with the way that Emmy was yelling, he wasn’t going to allow a man to try to grab for his halter.

  What the hell? I was starving anyway. Picking up my piece of b
read, I shrugged and felt the horse’s rump slam into me as he shoved his way past me, heading straight for her. The yelling of my parents increased as my dad had blocked my mom and Pastor Don from the intruder. Instead, Ben had nickered softly as he nudged her arm out of the way of the plate.

  “I am really hungry. Is there any more pork chops?” Her eyes had stayed down on the plate instead of at the horse invading dinner as if he wasn’t there.

  “You can have half of mine, Tyke.” Poking it with my fork, I passed it over to her while letting out a little laugh. Hell, if my dad had caught that, I would be in the hot ass water right with her for thinking that it was funny. But it was funny.

  “Thanks. I am just pretty hungry.” Reaching around the horse’s nose, she pulled the chop from my fork and dropped it on her plate. The snickers from Will and Rob had come out as Rob held up his phone, catching everything.

  “There’s a horse in my house!” My mom screeched, causing Emmerson’s head to snap up.

  Jumping to the side, she let out a loud forced gasp as she shook her head. “There’s a horse in the house! When did this happen?”

  “Emmerson, what the hell is he doing in the house?” The loud, thunderous anger had shot out from my dad as he held up his arms, ready to catch Ben.

  “Um, probably because I’ve been bragging about Connie’s dinners to him and he wanted to see what one was like.” Her eyes shot back to me as the smile came to her face.

  “Get him out of here!” Dad belted out a scream, making her jump.

  She flew up from the chair fast, startling Ben and making him jump a little and knock the pictures off the wall and bumping into the table. Glasses were spilled and some food had jumped off the plates. Sitting back in my chair, I sucked in a deep breath knowing that this was not going to be good for her. Who was I kidding? She would outsmart the old man anyway. She always did with everything.